How long do you worry about your near and dear ones?
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug,
'It's their life,' and feel nothing?
When I was in my pre-teens I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my head and mom asked,
'When do you stop worrying?'
The nurse said,
'When they get out of the accident stage..'
Mom just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my early forties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how my daughter talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making Feather Dusters.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
'Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.'
Mom probably just smiled faintly from somewhere up there and said nothing.
When I would be in my early fifties,
I would spend a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the car to come home, the front door to open.
My Friend would say,
'They're trying to find themselves.Don't worry! In a few years, they'll be adults. They'll be off on their own, they'll be out of your hair'
Mom would again just smile faintly and say nothing.
By the time I will be in my late fifties,I would be sick & tired of being vulnerable.
I would still be worrying over my child but there would be a new wrinkle..
Even though she will be on her own I will continue to anguish over her failures, be tormented by her frustrations and absorbed in her disappointments..
And there will be nothing I can do about it.
Mom would just smile faintly from her exalted status and say nothing.
My Friend said that when my daughter gets married I could stop worrying and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smiles
And her occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right?'
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'
My Friend said that when I became a grandparent I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling 'Grandpa!'
But now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones.
How can anyone cope with all this Worry?
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?
Is Concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown?
Is Concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?
FUTURESPEAK - 10 YEARS FROM NOW:
Recently, my daughter has become quite irritable with me. Yesterday she called me up and said,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered.
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
